I’m Busy! A Guest Post by the Inimitable Patrick O’Scheen

patrick When I said I’d do a guest post, I forgot that this blog was about writing. My current manuscript stared at me ruefully from the corner of my desk and said, “Don’t you do it!”

Foolishly thinking myself up to this obvious challenge I answered, “And why not?” The aforesaid words were punctuated by a crossing of my arms over my chest and a tapping of my foot.

It stared at me in disbelief. “After what you put down in print so far…” It drew up short recognizing the scowl on my face as a bad omen of its future.

“I have been busy,” I tried my best excuse, hoping it wouldn’t see through the lie. Most short stories are fooled by this particular falsehood.

“So why are you just sitting here now?” The question—once voiced—could not be denied. I postured defensively and pretended to look for a pen in my desk drawer. “Is it… twitter?” I could hear the pages shuffle.

“Of course not!” I answered a bit too quickly drawing even more suspicion to my possible lack of fealty.

“Then facebook? I know you have feelings for facebook… I’ve seen how you look at it!” A loud tearing sound issued from the makeshift cover.

“Look, no! Facebook is just… a friend.” I wondered what it would infer from the redness I felt as heat in my cheeks. This conversation wasn’t going the way I’d planned.

“I knew it was the blog!” It drew out the word blog with the most distasteful accent on the term imaginable.

“This isn’t my blog I’m writing for now…” I wanted to take back the words but the damage was done. It could see the truth. An involuntary shudder ran through me as I reached for the pages. “It isn’t what you think…” I softly stroked the paper.

“The reasons you started me? They aren’t gone, immutably changed? Do you even remember?”

I clutched the novel to my chest. There was nothing left to do — except write.

Do you make excuses? What’s your personal favorite?

Guest post by:

Patrick O’Scheen
Author of Dreamer and generally insane person

Amazon
Blog

I would like to express my thanks to Patrick for his excellent, and hilarious, guest post!  If you haven’t checked out his book, Dreamer, yet, I urge you to do so!  Details are in the information, above.
If you are interested in writing a guest post for Imagineer-ing, please contact me with your idea(s), using the contact form.
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About Steve

An author since the age of 13 years, writing again dominates my activities. My "Imagineer-ing" blog is my primary site. Also: Beginner knitter since November 2010. Favourite knitting techniques: cable and lace. Beginner cross stitcher. Beginner jewellery maker. With the promotion of self publication and all the other work that has been going on here, Dad decided around 2am this morning (22/11/2013) that it was time to begin his next adventure. He was seen off earlier the previous evening by myself, my brother, my sister in law, and my sister, as well as his wife (our mum), and an enigmatic being known only as A Lorraine. After this time of story telling, laughing, crying, joking and mickey taking, we saw how tired both mum and dad were, and we decided to leave them under the (sometimes) gentle care of The Lorraine. When Dad found the timetable for his travels, he let Mum know gently, which woke her from her drowsing, then, with the same gentleness he showed in this universe, he boarded his favourite mode of transport, the Interdimensional Steam Train, and set off with a smile and a wave. For those of us closest, that smile was a reminder that his pain has ended, and the wave, an indicator that he will pop in to all those that knew him, from time to time. Usually at the most inconvenient and in opportune moments he can. While we are sad that he is no longer here, we are happy he now has no pain, and is experiencing more extraordinary things that his writers mind will be frantically weaving into a new story. Posted by Son Damien

12 thoughts on “I’m Busy! A Guest Post by the Inimitable Patrick O’Scheen

  1. Brilliant piece, Patrick. Smiled all through it. Writing excuses? A personal favorite of mine would be the three words: “As soon as…” My most productive days happen when I -don’t- do anything else before writing. Not always easy to do.
    Thanks for the smiles.

    Steve, hope you’re having a good day off.

  2. Pingback: I can’t believe it! | patrick o'scheen

  3. Clever! My biggest excuses usually centre around my husband or pet care business, or, just lack of creative thinking, or, life in general. We do get around, LOL and sometimes there’s no time for writing. (My writing at this point is ALL blog related – no finished works yet, but have a couple in progress.) I’m having an affair with social media too and that certainly detracts, (but is necessary to be a success in the Blogosphere. Catch 22?)
    Always enjoy your humour Patrick. :-) Congratulations on your succ!ess as a published author!

  4. Cute post! It is sometimes soooooo difficult to focus on the writing when there are so many other things that need to be done. (Like reading funny blog posts and commenting on them.)

  5. That was hilarious and oh, so true! I try and stay away from as much of the social media as I can, but Facebook seems to be my downfall. And it’s very distracting. :
    Great post, Patrick! :)

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